July, 2016

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Questions to ask when looking for a therapist ?

what questions to ask when looking for a therapist

Talking therapies is the way forward these days. Learning about ourselves and developing self-awareness is key to personal growth and maturity. How can you  bring about change to yourself/situation if you are unable to identify how to fix it! Therapy is fast becoming the norm, as a society we have become more and more dependant on the GP, placing high expectations on fixing us? In fact, we can fix our selves with some support and guidance. Still contemplating counselling, psychotherapy or coaching? the title is actually irrelevant and all amount’s to the same thing really, a therapist helps you to work on yourself and analyse a situation or repetitive behaviours that keep you stuck and feel unable to move forward – personal growth – Just repeating the same stuff and expecting a different result?… do you feel like you’re going round in circles? are you dizzy yet!

Trying to find the right therapist to help you overcome your predicament can be a nightmare, and can have disastrous consequences if you don’t carry out some precautionary checks first. There are people working in this field who have no qualifications or training. Let me give you some guidance in making an informed choice, I have put together 5 questions to ask any therapist before you consider parting with your cash, which is hard to earn and very easy to spend.

1.   Which therapy are you qualified in and where did you study?
You would be amazed how many “therapists” have no qualifications, or have completed a weekend course somewhere.  Worse still, they may have set themselves up because they are a past sufferer and now feel that they can help others. Ensure that they are fully trained and part of a recognised society. A fully qualified therapist can evidence their qualifications and show you.

.2.   Have you taken out insurance for public liability?
Every therapist should have insurance to protect him/herself, and also to protect the client. Although rare, things can go wrong in therapy and it is important that all parties are fully protected.

3. How often do I need to come and how much do you charge?
Always discuss terms and conditions with your therapist around the procedure when and how to booked appointments, time constraints if early or late for your session, cancellations policy and fees all relevant so both parties are fully aware as misunderstandings may cause upsets.

4.   If I hire you, can you confirm that you will personally carry out this support?
Many therapists offer support but, when you ring them, you get a nameless face on the other end of the line. It is important that you are receiving personal support from the therapist and not the receptionist. This person may not be qualified at the same level as your therapist.

5. How will I know you are the right therapist for me ?
When hiring a therapist, it is important that the therapist and the client has a good working relationship, and there is mutual trust. If you feel doubts that the therapist is not for you go somewhere else, if you feel okay and wish to go ahead try six – eight sessions and review together and discuss how its going and what you want!

So, there you are!   Do not be embarrassed to ask these questions, and any more you can think off.  Any competent therapist will be glad that you are making the effort to choose the best therapist for your problem.  If the therapist is unable to answer your questions fully, it might be worth looking elsewhere.



happy earth day design , plant hold in hand design vector



I’m living under stress? I want it to go away ? NOW!!!

We are all infallible human beings, all susceptible to stress, research suggests that one in four of us will experience anxiety as a result of built up tensions at some time in our lives. The effects of stress results in:

Irritability – low tolerance of ourselves and especially around others ?
Restlessness resulting in poor quality of sleep?
Making bad food choices, and feeling it…
Negative thoughts, self-talk  remunerating –  thoughts constantly going round and round in our minds!!!




Holly Oaks star Stephanie Davies thinks so

Benefits of Counselling?

Talking Therapies are for anyone ?

There are many reasons for seeing a therapist. You may be feeling low or upset, confused about your feelings, having conflicting thoughts! Experiencing relationship difficulties! Family issues, Frustration, Feeling in a rut and not knowing where to turn?

You may have a sudden life crisis such as bereavement, Relationship break-up or considering it! Loss or change of job – Retirement. Victim of crime – left feeling anxious, depressed or maybe life is not making any sense? No situation is impossible!

Why not come in and have an initial assessment and see if its for you!

During talking therapies, a trained therapist listens to you and helps you find your own answers to problems, without judging you.

The therapist provides a space to talk, cry, shout or just think. It’s offers you an opportunity to look at your situation in a different way with someone who will respect you and your opinions.

Usually, you’ll talk one-to-one with the therapist. Sometimes talking treatments are held in groups or couples, such as relationship counselling.

Although there are lots of different types of talking therapies, they all have a similar aim: to help you feel better. Talking therapies doesn’t make problems go away, but find a way forward making it easier to cope and feel happier.

The benefits are enormous:

  • Someone willing to listen
  • Gain insight around personal issues, emotional needs, habits and patterns of behaviour.
  • Develop self-awareness
  • Grow in confidence and be totally you.
  • Personal growth and Maturity.
  • Confidential service offering a change to bring about change.
  • It maybe easier to talk to a stranger ( Qualified) than family & Friends!


Self Esteem! I’m Not Good Enough…

2001 brought about Channel 4’s Big Brother reality show, initially designed as a social experiment to observe how people interacted in a confined space with nothing but each other to focus on. Cameras in the made-up home were everywhere! Whilst we watched eagerly the producers behind the scenes were busy editing and controlling what they felt was good viewing with the sole purpose to up the ratings to gain a successful series at whatever cost (the participants and their families)The programme invited us the general public into a world of voyeurism like nothing we had experienced on television. The birth of reality shows was upon us, bringing Joe public into our homes each night for X number of weeks, therefore, encouraging us all to put our private lives on show. Big Brothers watching… WOW… how entertaining for us and the prospect of the shock factor! Each series brought along more hype and more and more ‘OMG’ moments!

Social Media is now a very similar. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc… All a huge part of life and for some a platform to display how well life is treating them, whilst others feel left out or left behind, triggering inferiority “ I’m not feeling good enough” that troublesome internal negative voice deep within.

We’re constantly bombarded by people updating their status to see how whose achieving what, what’s cool, what’s NOT cool, the best government – even our MPS are expected to appear as celebrities on our television screens and the media insisting that a public debate takes place in order to tear shreds out of each other!
What is that doing to their inner being? Who would want to withstand that public ridicule? Sadly, a constant reminder of “YOUR’E NOT GOOD ENOUGH” is drip fed to each of us on a daily basis.
So, what can you to do to protect yourself against feeling not as good as the next person?
How can you relieve the rising pressure building up inside?
How can you reduce the rising levels of stress and anxiety, that low mood or even depression?

Note to self ‘NOBODY’ from whatever walk of life can maintain the Perfect Life, Perfect Job, or Perfect Family with Perfect Children!!! Appearances can be very deceptive, especially on social media where you can control what parts you choose to show. It’s often an illusion and if were not feeling very self-assured or life happens to be throwing us a difficult time (which happens to every person at some point in life), we can easily fall under the spell of feeling disillusioned, and not actually seeing the actual reality, only seeing what we believe “WE DO NOT HAVE “or feeling unable to keep up with the competition. It’s a pressure!

My message for you is this, (which I share with my clients).
We are not infallible human beings, were just visiting this planet for a very short space of time. So, embrace your uniqueness and accept yourself for who you are. Love YOU, you’re important.

Here’s my top 10 tips to ensure you take on some good self-care.
1) Stop competing, be kind to yourself by doing positive things (you like).
2) Set yourself a challenge and stick to it (keep it simple if need be).
3) Be in the moment… the here and now… observe what you’re doing.
4) Focus on the positive aspects of your life.
5) Change that negative self-talk into a positive self-talk.
6) Respect and listen to how you talk to yourself and others.
7) Have fun, bring the WOW factor into your days, and add some colour.
8) Get some support. Learn how to break the cycle.
9) Get with nature – look at what’s around you
10) Enjoy the seasons and embrace your day


Identifying a healthy relationship

Many people stay in an abusive relationship, even though they know it is damaging their health, why because it may be a habit fear of change or self worth – not feeling strong enough or good enough to be alone? think about it ? If you aren’t having issues why are you continuing to read my page?

Can your past affect your future?

“Can your past affect your future” is a question we often ask ourselves.   There are many ways to look at this….